so easy to slip

It's been a while since I've done this - since I've started crafting a blog post before the day I posted it. I started this as a way to escape my job, the worst job I've ever had, and Tuesdays were always the worst. (Tuesdays are often still the worst. I've never had much luck with Tuesdays.)

I started this as a way to chronicle being good to myself. It has since shifted purposes, a way for me to catalog the food I make and the people I make it with and for. Sometimes these are the same.

The thing is, it's hard. It's hard to be good to yourself, and so easy to slip. It's so easy for me to distance myself from what's happening, either by narrating in my head (writing without paper or a keyboard) or by putting the camera to my face (capturing in a different way). It's hard, sometimes, to just be. (A second after that photo, Johanna admonished me: can't you put the camera down, you jerk? Yes. Yes.)

It's about balance, just like everything else is. Andy - born exactly one week before me - and I have had many conversations about what it means to be a Libra, and it always comes back to balance. Keeping the scales in check.


I'm ridiculously lucky, you see. I have a fairly well-paying job, a tiny-but-cozy apartment, and some of the best people to call my friends. (Sometimes my brain counters all of this with anxiety attacks. It's been doing that a lot this past week.) These people gathered in that apartment for the fourth annual Friendsgiving, a tradition that Daniel, Johanna and I have carried with us from Greensboro.

Friendsgiving has always been a small(-ish) affair. Back in 2007, when we had the first one, there were only six of us. I don't remember the next one very well, though I'm sure we had one - I wasn't yet comfortable in DC, not entirely, and my photography had fallen by the wayside. It serves as a reminder of why I do this: I'm terrified of forgetting.

Anyway, this year there were five of us, two cooks (guess which two), two bottles of wine, a vegan pot pie, identity crisis potatoes, asparagus and peppers, and an apple pie. Everything was consumed. Seriously. The only leftovers we had were the vegetables we couldn't fit into the pot pie, and those were turned into a delicious stir-fry.

After the pie, the second pie, the boys went to retrieve a card game from down the street and while they did that, Johanna and I revisited our first Friendsgiving. Namely, we took a picture of ourselves on my couch, just like we did three years ago on her couch in Greensboro. Have I mentioned how lucky I am? I am so unbelievably lucky, for these people. I'm not trying to brag, it's just that sometimes I need to remind myself. It's been one of those weeks.

Anyway. I'm trying to focus on the good, and not the anxiety threatening to tip the scales.

Vegan B├ęchamel

Recipe - I'm pretty sure the only adapting we did was to use rice milk instead of oat milk. Oh, and we also left out the nutmeg.

And here's the recipe for the pot pie. If you need a reminder on how to make the crust vegan, check out the other recent pies. Otherwise, replace the Mornay sauce with the above b├ęchamel, and you should be set!

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